Prior to moving into Heart Mind Haven, I spent the better part of half of my life struggling with a very severe and often debilitating drug addiction.

Addiction alone is difficult to deal with, but mine was compounded by the fact that for as long as I can remember, I struggled with issues relating to my gender identity. For a time, drugs and alcohol provided me with a respite, albeit destructive, to numb out my feelings of shame, embarrassment, and self-loathing. But then there came a time where even the relieving effect those substances provided diminished greatly and the situation became untenable. I tried countless times to get clean and sober, and each attempt, though wholehearted in effort, would inevitably fail and my addiction would pick right up where it left off, and often worse.

In time I began to acknowledge that if my efforts in recovery were to not only be successful, but lasting, then I would have to deal with the issue comprehensively. In other words, in order for me to recover in my substance abuse and stay recovered, I would not only have to remain clean and sober, but I would also have to address my identity as a transgender female. Addiction in and of itself is isolating. But adding my identity as a trans person into that equation further compounds upon that isolation.

The seemingly insurmountable struggle I had in front of me was daunting, to say the least. I believed, rather naively, that the sheer presence of substance abuse within the LGBTQ community would naturally result in an abundance of support and resources for that community. Unfortunately, however, I found that that wasn’t necessarily the case. As a trans female, I had previously been in sober living environments where everyone else was a straight, cis female. In these situations, I found myself isolated and without reliable support, which would inevitably result in my relapsing back into active addiction. The merry-go-round of relapse and recovery was tiring, debilitating, and heading into a bottom from which I would not recover. My very life was at stake, and that is not an exaggeration. I knew I had to try something different, and that something was finding an LGBTQ specific sober living environment. That is when I heard of Heart Mind Haven.

I was coming off of a recent relapse and my previous experiences in sober living left me feeling weary and skeptical. But I had nothing to lose, so I decided to give HMH a try. And thank god I did.

Almost immediately upon moving into HMH, I felt like I could breathe again. The feeling of being stifled and helplessly depressed began to lift, and for the first time in many years, I could start to look down the road and see my life changing for the better. I felt like I was right where I was supposed to be, with other LGBTQ folks dealing with the same things I was dealing with. I felt a sense of belonging, and I felt safe. Feeling those things were both integral and necessary in order for me to look beyond the immediate problem of my addiction. In other words, for me to envision myself not only as a person in recovery, but a person who is happy, functional, and motivated, I needed to see where I fit into the bigger picture. I had so many hopes, goals, and dreams that I long gave up on in my addiction, but coming to HMH allowed me to see those things again and start bringing them into realization.

Not every single day in recovery is going to be great, there will undoubtedly be challenges. But the difference now is that by being a part of the HMH community, I no longer let those challenges completely upend my progress. My peers there could pick me up when I fell, and in turn, I could do the same for them. Furthermore, Heart Mind Haven provided me with a sense of accountability that I credit to my success in long-term recovery.

HMH is so much more than just a sober living. It is an environment that fosters cohesiveness, integrity, and teamwork. There is incentive for residents to come together and find solutions to whatever challenges may arise. I’ve never seen that before in a sober living environment. The other residents I was there with became my chosen family, and I will forever cherish the times we shared. We as LGBTQ folks in recovery know best how to help one another.

I cannot express emphatically enough how incredibly integral HMH has been in my journey and my success. I was at such a point in my addiction that had I not come to HMH, I fear that I would no longer be on this earth. But I am still here, I am still standing, and I am stronger for having been through what I’ve been through. I can say assuredly that today, I do love myself. And I have HMH to thank for that.

- M.D.

Heart Mind Haven provides a safe and encouraging place to embrace sobriety and create healthy behaviors and habits.

The support of the staff and housemates is present inside and outside of the home and always comes with a sense of community and family.

For this, providing healthy and reasonable expectations while sharing joy, peace and the tools to nurture my growth I am grateful. Thank you Heart Mind Haven!

- C.W

HMH has given me the chance to build recovery community, stabilize myself in a time of transition, and prioritize my health in a way I haven't had the chance to in the past. HMH uniquely offers me the ability to create new skills, practice self-care, and commit to sobriety all while pursuing my passion for helping the LGBTQ+ community in a professional capacity. HMH ensured that I was taken care of through financial struggles and personal issues, and I feel valued for being who I am. I'm grateful to be in such a loving and supportive community that I wouldn't have without HMH.

- H.A.S.

Safety is something I had never really understood because it wasn't something I had grown up with or had been able to fully embrace in the relationships with others or with myself.

Heart Mind Haven helped me to reframe that pivotal understanding that is primordial for every queer person to prosper & thrive. I am eternally grateful for HMH as it helped me to build a healthy foundation on which I can stand proudly & firmly on my two feet and say "I matter".

The community at HMH is one of angels & allies who pour their heart & soul into this beautiful home. Like a nurse caring for a wounded child to help them heal & grow to the point that they are ready & able to spread their own ethereal wings & fly away, HMH has given me hope, happiness & a greater respect for my sense of self, safety & serenity that I will cherish for the rest of my life. Thanks to HMH for all that you do. Our world needs more of this love & compassion. xoxo

-J.K.

Heart Mind Haven has helped me get to a way better space mentally than I ever thought possible.

Before I came, I was going in and out of the mental hospital for suicide attempts and plans and I didn’t really see a way out of that cycle. Heart Mind Haven has helped me realize that I’m not alone in this world. They have also provided me with a bunch of people who I can talk to about my struggles and get help with them. It has opened up hope in my life again which is something I never thought I’d ever have.

- C.

Before Heart Mind Haven, I had lost all hope for what my life would become. I had moved to Denver, to expand my horizons and pursue my career. However, things took a turn for the worst, or so it seemed, when the only friends/roommates I knew, had become hostile and unstable. Because of that, I found myself homeless in the cold, living in my car, feeling lost and alone. In the span of three days, I had to evacuate, move all my belongings into storage, and reach out to as many sources as I could think of, to find shelter. Winter was approaching and I had to act quickly. To say the least, I was terrified and traumatized. I had never experienced homelessness before. Then, out of several inquires and applications, Maree McRae was the first to reach back with genuine compassion and support. I was amazed at how responsive she was and how efficiently/quickly she rescued me from the darkest point in my life. I knew instantly that Heart Mind Haven was the perfect fit for me.

Upon moving in, I was greeted and welcomed by a community of people, just like me. I was also inspired to discover that we were all from different backgrounds, ranging from addictions to traumas to people simply needing a safe place to transition, in a world still adjusting to gay rights and equities. Being it, an organization specifically focused on housing LGBTQ+ peoples, it’s an environment in which we were all able to glean from each other with versatile support, that we never thought was possible. This hybrid dynamic is sheer brilliance and all too rare. I hope more people get on board with creating environments like this one, in communities across the globe. Because of Heart Mind Haven, I finally had a safe place to re-discover myself and start dreaming again. The supportive structures and graceful approaches enabled me to find healing and better direction in my most vulnerable state.

This organization is more than just a business to me, It’s a circle of kinship and camaraderie. Thanks a million Heart Mind Haven, for helping me cultivate the greatest turning point I’ve ever experienced. I will never forget what you’ve done for me and will forever carry your vision in my heart and life. Here’s to better and brighter days ahead.

- S.K.S

Heart Mind Haven is an atmosphere of sacredness to be one’s self. A place to plant your branches and give someone a space to grow in. Everyday I’m reminded of a kindness that doesn’t have to be earned, but is freely given. People who come through the door whether working or living here have endured life’s hardships and shine their light through and onto others. It’s a special place to feel connected again, inspired again and simply human again. A world exists outside where queer people are often misconstrued, marginalized and displaced, but here I wake up feeling a sense of belonging; an energy of empathy enveloped around me that I can wear, to be adorned in courage for the day. It is a reminder of inner strength fortified through the goodness of others that is restorative and potentiating to one’s self development to simply be.
- M.M.

I don’t know where I’d be without Heart Mind Haven. The resources they have connected me with have helped so much coming out of the hospital. I feel completely safe and loved here. The activities and the empathetic listeners are a wonderful thing for me. I was homeless in Colorado Springs, and I had lost all hope and tried to commit suicide.

When I got out of the hospital I came here and never thought I’d find a LGBTQ place like this. I feel 110% better about myself. I’m finally getting the help I need to make my life better and to live happy, and not in the horrible place I was before. I can’t begin to explain the gratitude I have for Maree and the staff here. If it wasn’t for this house I honestly don’t know where I’d be. - B.R.

Before coming to HMH I was coming out of the hospital, and had been homeless and at risk of becoming homeless again. HMH gave me a safe space where I could be myself. Having the comfort of good people and a roof over my head during a rough time in my life was extremely important. HMH was full of excellent, comforting people. Starr lended a friendly ear and Camryn was also amazing in providing extra support when I needed it. They understand at HMH what it means to LGBTQIA and also what it has felt like to deal with trauma. HMH is a comfortable and open place that allows you to be yourself without judgement. The staff understood a lot of what I, as a trans woman, dealt with and helped me with resources to grow and flourish.
-E.H.

I have been elated with the staff and the HMH sanctuary. I find it a very beneficial place and opportunity to better myself as a trans woman with the proper support and recognition that HMH provides. I was in fear of being a homeless trans woman which is a very scary thought. I am ever so grateful that this community and home exists for anyone on the LGBTQIA spectrum. I find the wall affirmations very enlightening - even when I feel down these positive affirmations throughout the home help me. Starr and Maree have been so great and I truly believe the world needs more people like the ones that operate this house. It would make the world a better place for everyone, not just the queer community. I cannot express in words enough how truly grateful I am. I feel I have more than I ever have had after being at the HMH sanctuary. - J.F.

I came here seeking recovery support. Having a place with people that wake up at the same time and have the same goals, a place to clear my head… to wake up with others and have coffee and have people who are doing the same thing is one of the best parts. It’s a community.

To those thinking of accessing the services here, just do it! This is a a place that won’t judge you and a place that will take care of You. Not the symptom, but will take care of You.

I came here like a crash landing and I landed in a place that was finally not filled with sharks.

The staff here is wonderful, routine check ins that are non-judgemental. Again, I think it’s just a place where you can be safe and get healthy and the more time you have in the place, the more you will get out in figuring out yourself. I have a head on my shoulders that I didn’t have before.
- S.V.

I came to HMH from a disturbingly discriminative environment and it was great and full of love. HMH staff Maree and John were great to me. It was a good and safe space away from the stressful environment I was in prior to coming here. Just a great place to be me.

-T.A.

Being brought into an environment that has given me the type of comfort and reassurance that I always sought; HMH has been an amazing blessing for me. From the first time I talked with Maree we connected on a level where I could tell she knew the pain I felt, and I felt seen. And that has helped meet see me too, for not just my identity of someone with cyclical depressive bouts and substance use, but somebody who could grow from that type of experience and not let it define me.

There’s something about being here and getting to see all the inspirational people involved here on a regular basis. It’s great to be seen and Heart Mind Haven does that really well. They see people.

-A.H.

When I first came to Heart Mind Haven I was in a really bad place. I felt lonely, I felt afraid. I was participating in illegal drug use or at least I was trying to get drugs, I was turning into an alcoholic, drinking heavily and felt very distraught over my present situation. I was getting kicked out and basically had no one to really support or guide me. When I first found Maree at Heart Mind Haven it was like a godsend. I was able to speak with her over the phone, I had been drinking that night, and she was so kind to me and so welcoming.

I immediately felt that kinship that you sometimes feel for a stranger that helps you out. So I decided to take a chance and come and stay at Heart Mind Haven, and the way I’ve been treated exceeded every expectation that I had presented for myself. It brings tears to my eyes just thinking about the hospitality and generosity I’ve encountered. The warmth from others has been amazing.

The change that I have been through in just a few short weeks has been astounding. I’m clean and sober and I love it. I have newfound energy that I never felt before and it’s really been a turning point for me; that gumption to follow my dreams. I’ve only been here three weeks and I’ve already found an apartment - before I was facing homelessness due to an erratic home situation. For lack of better words I’ve found new family here. I’m well fed, I’ve been invited for the holidays and I highly recommend HMH to anyone in need of comfort.

The great thing about it is that I had also been stifling with my own sexuality for many years and couldn’t find love anywhere, so being in an LGBTQ community accepting of my differences is just amazing and I’m able to finally be myself and that has been the most rewarding consequence of it all.

-R.C.

HMH provided me a safe and inclusive home that spared me from homelessness. I really enjoy the friendships I made there and the connections I will share for the rest of my life.

-S.R.

I appreciate SO much all that Heart Mind Haven has done for me. The sanctuary was exactly what I needed getting out of treatment. Being able to start being independent has been crucial in my recovery, especially around people who are like me. Thank you for providing that space and creating a safe environment to be exactly the person my heart knows I am. It really brought peace to my life getting to live with other trans and non-binary people. I think that's the thing I will take most with me, that special feeling of finally belonging.

-L.C.

I was newly sober and trans, looking for a safe place to work on rebuilding my life. Maree was so kind to me and the HMH staff welcomed me and held me while I worked on getting my life together after inpatient drug and alcohol treatment.

It's been a wonderful sanctuary, with groups and teachings individually selected for each person's needs, and a queer community that is constantly engaged and mutually supportive. Here I am able to balance the energy I can put into my personal AA program, and the energy I put into the community. HMH reached out and swooped me up at a time I needed safety and protection, when I needed a space to grow, heal and recover.

-E.R.

When I drove away from my first interview at Heart Mind Haven, I bawled my eyes out. I couldn't believe a place lie this could exist, a refuge from the cycles and situation I'd know for so long.

As an autistic trans woman, anytime I've left a situation in the last two years (since moving away from an abusive, anti-queer situation with my family at the ripe age of eighteen), any time I've changed homes or jobs, it's been due to the situation reaching such a dire point of burnout or safety issues so that I had to leave simply to protect myself. I stayed with abusive partners longer than I should have, at anti-trans jobs longer than I should have. In each space until it reached a breaking point, I'd often lie to myself about what was happening, because I knew I didn't have the resources to leave. The cycle was slowly destroying my hope for things to be better. The thought of cobbling together whatever I could and crashing with a friend until I outstayed my welcome, yet again, felt like a death sentence.

When I interviewed at Heart Mind Haven, I could tell it was what I needed. With a nasty smoking problem and no job, I made my plans to move in, and did so as soon as possible. I couldn't have made a better call. The community, the resources, and the lessons I've learned in such a short period of time give me hope I can actually do it right this time-actually create some long term stability within and without myself.

I have a new job, haven't touched a cigarette in weeks, and feel truly, deeply safe and accepted, in a way that doesn't feel conditional for once. I'm gaining understandings of myself that make me feel like I can actually move forward from this place with tools in my pocket and a relationship to self that can help me build the life I want, or at least, be safe and joyful for much longer than I've been able to be before.

Without Heart Mind Haven, I'm not sure where I would be.

- L.C